REVISION: Who's happier? (response to previous post)

Thanks YH.
Here it is. The person who wrote back the responses is a reconstructionist liberal Jew. Go figure

Dear ...
My responses!
REASONS WHY WOMEN ARE HAPPIER
1. My last name MAY stay put.
2. The living room is all mine.
3. I can be senator.
4. NO COMMENT on weddings! Are the wedding plans taking care of themselves without you!
5. I WILL wear a white t-shirt to a water park IF I WANT TO.
6. I can wear no shirt (but my bikini, though) to a water park.
7. My car mechanics give me free tires (sometimes).
8. NO COMMENT on the urinals and restrooms. Ladies don't do that.
9. I don't have to stop and think which way to turn a nut. How sexist!
10. Same work, plus extra perks because I am so cute.
11. Wrinkles add character.
12. Wedding dress can be zip if I want to wear my WATER PARK T-SHIRT.
13. I love it when people stare at my chest when I talk to them. They're beautiful and they're REAL.
14. Some guys like it when a girl burps but LADIES DON'T DO THAT.
15. To hell with new shoes.
16. Changing moods is good, especially when it gets you presents.
17. During my phone conversations 3 girlfriends solve my problems for me so I can spend my free time studying harder on homework.
18. I know stuff about tanks and TANK TOPS.
19. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
20. I can open all my own jars (just need a butter knife and hot water).
21. I get extra hugs for the slightest act of thoughtfulness since no one is afraid to hug me.
22. If someone forgets to invite me, everyone else I know laughs at them.
23. My underwear is $1.00 a pair.
24. Five pairs of shoes: three usually, two for decoration.
25. Straps showing are considered fashionable in some circles.
26. I iron out the wrinkles in my clothes before I come to school so I can't see them either.
27. Everything on my face stays its original color because I don't use makeup.
28. Changing hairstyles usually elicits compliments.
29. I have to shave NOTHING if I don't feel like it and guys still look.
30. I play with toys all my life. Guess what they are. No, don't be sick. Pen and paper.
31. My belly is in proportion to my hips so I don't need to hide anything.
32. One wallet - and one pair of shoes - usually the same color. But who cares when my purse matches my shoes?
33. I wear shorts no matter how my legs look.
34. I can "do" my nails with a nail clipper - a Swiss Army knife is for fixing the car.
35. Mustaches are for men unless you are a drag "king" so I won't go there.
36. Jews don't do Christmas shopping, Hallelujah. From stares and envy to hugs and kisses, NO WONDER WOMEN ARE HAPPIER.