Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's.



Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Harold's wife bought a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger. After a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying the "miracle" products, she asked, "Darling, honestly, what age would you say I am?" Looking over her carefully, Harold replied, "Judging from your skin, twenty; your hair, eighteen; and your figure, twenty five." "Oh, you flatterer!" she gushed. "Hey, wait a minute!" Harold interrupted." I haven't added them up yet."

"Congratulations my boy!" said the groom's uncle. "I'm sure you'll look back and remember today as the happiest day of your life."
"But I'm not getting married until tomorrow," protested his nephew.
"I know," replied the uncle. "That's exactly what I mean."