A Chinese businessman operating out of south China suffers a string of robberies. He calls up his associate in Israel and asks him if he ever had a problem with robberies.

"Not really," replies the Israeli. "We have this thing we put on the doorpost - called a mezuzah - and it protects our homes from harm." "Send me one," begs the Chinese guy, "I'm desperate for a solution."

A few weeks later, the Israeli gets his mezuzah back in the mail. He
calls up his Chinese friend. "Nu," he asks him. "The mezuzah didn't
work? You were robbed again?"

"No, no," the Chinese guy assures him, "no robberies."
"So why did you send it back?" The Chinese guy sighs. "I dunno," he says. "Ever since I hung it up, the doorbell doesn't stop ringing. Each time a different dude standing there, saying the same thing: 'Tzedoko!'"


When young David was asked by his father to say the evening prayer, he realized he didn't have his head covered, so he asked his little brother Henry to rest a hand on his head until prayers were over. Henry grew impatient after a few minutes and removed his hand. The father said, "This is important. Put your hand back on his head!" to which Henry exclaimed, "What, am I, my brother's kipah?"


A Rabbi, who was late for a golf game, was rather curt with several people whose phone calls kept delaying him.

The next day at his office in synagogue, his secretary said, "Rabbi, several members of the congregation were really upset with you when you cut them short yesterday."

At that point, a man who had been sitting within earshot in the reception room got up and departed hurriedly.

"Who was that?" asked the Rabbi.

"Oh, that was Mr. Ruthenberg," she answered. "He wanted to speak to you about a circumcision for his son."