Ach its almost purim, how can I not post :)


The WORLD Famous STORY OF PURIM

The story of Purim is an international tale.

King Achashverosh was Finnish with his disobedient wife Vashti. "You Congo now!" he ordered her. After she had Ghana way, the king's messengers went Roman the land to find a new queen. And India end, the beautiful Esther won the crown.

Meanwhile, Mordechai sat outside the palace, where the Chile Haman would Czech up on him daily.

"I Haiti you because you refuse to bow to me!" Haman scolded Mordechai. "USA very stubborn man. You Jews are such Bahamas! If you keep this up, Denmark my words! I will have all your people killed! Just Kuwait and see, you Turkey! "

Mordechai went into mourning and tore his clothes-a custom known as Korea. He urged Esther to plead with the king. The Jews fasted for three days and grew very Hungary. Esther approached the king and asked, 'Kenya Belize come to a banquet I've prepared for you and Haman?" At the feast, she invited her guests to a second banquet to eat Samoa.

The king asked, "Esther, why Jamaica big meal like this? Just tell me what you want. Unto half my United Kingdom will I give you."
Esther replied, "Spain full for me to say this, but Haman is Russian to kill my people."

Haman's loud Wales could be heard as he carried Honduran this scene. "Oman!" Haman cried bitterly. "Iraq my brains in an effort to destroy the Jews. But that sneaky Mordechai - Egypt me! "

Haman and his ten sons were hanged and went immediately to the Netherlands. And to Sweden the deal, the Jews were allowed to Polish off the rest of their foes as well. "You lost your enemies and Uganda friend," the king smiled.

And that is why the Purim story Israeli a miracle. God decided to China light on His chosen people.

So now, let's celebrate! Forget all your Syria's business and just be happy! Serb up some wine and Taiwan on! Happy Purim!!!

Oh and here'sanother one I came acroos that I liked.

Top Ten Reasons for Celebrating Purim

1. Making noise in shul is a MITZVAH!!
2. Levity is not reserved for the Levites
3. Nobody knows if you're having a bad hair day. You can tell them
It’s your costume
4. Purim is easier to spell than Chanukah, I mean Hanukah, I mean,
KHanukah, I mean Chanuka, I mean the Festival of Lights.
5. You don't have to kasher your home and change all the pots and
dishes.
6. You don't have to build a hut and live and eat outside (but you could volunteer to build a new Purim booth for next year's Carnival)
7. You get to drink wine and drink wine and drink wine and you don't
even have to stand for Kiddush (I guess you can't!)
8. You won't get hit in the eye by a lulav
9. You can't eat hamantaschen on Yom Kippur
10. Mordecai - 1 ; Haman - 0 !!!!

Oh yes and a little something I made up me-self.

10 Signs you’ve been drinking a bit too much on purim…

1. The women dressed up in that hideous “vashti” costume turns out to be your mother-in-law, and it aint no costume.

2. You’ve become well acquainted with the toilet bowl.

3. “Nopes officerrr, I am intRoxicated, and I promise you dish akshident was 100% not my fault! I’m telling you, dat tree came speeding at me from outa nowhere!

4. You begin to find it very difficult to pronounce words such as “Hamantschen” and “Achashveros”

5. You find yourself sobbing uncontrollably and you’re singing the song of shoshanas yakov to yom kippur tunes.

6. You give mishloach mannos to the poor, tzedakah to your friends, and you’re reading the hagadah!

7. You believe your birthday suit makes a fine purim costume.

8. You’ve miraculously transformed into an amazing dancer, your voice is incredible, and you assume that everyone is laughing WITH you.

9. Feeling left out being that you’re the only without a costume you decide to A. shave your head B. bleach your hair C. pierce your nose.

And last but not least and yes this one comes from a true story (not my story thank G-d) 10. Your friend finds you in a bewildered non-Jewish neighbors house who you’ve just woken up (and is practically naked) cuz you happen to be singing purim songs on the top of your lungs in his bathroom… and you’re pissing in the bathtub!

A joyous purimm to you all, and remember to drink until ya don’t know the diffrence between a chasidsh guy and a shagitz! ;)

CS.