From Harry, who has shared with me these few things he's found out since becoming a daddy :)
For those who have sons & those who are happy they don't..........
You find out interesting things when you have sons, like ...
1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite
3. A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4- year old Boy.
11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16 Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Austin , TX has a 5-minute response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24. 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends,
with or without kids.
25. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake
fluid.
posted by Chasidishe Shaigitz @ 10:12 PM
8 comments
8 Comments:
25 is funniest
to the filler: when i read ur comment i knew its gotta b the sabra :) shalom
heyyy ur too brilliant for me. and i even have 0 idea who u are. check that out. respect, respect. (good thing i wasn't trying to hide my identity, though)
wow i got complimented by THE SABRA!! Wow {{blushing}}
it's* not a big deal--i compliment everyone. why, your socks smell so nicely today, spy, i can even unplug my nose in thirty minute intervals now. shkoyach!
p.s. and if i knowed who u was, i could even be giving u a realer one.
*im sorry AW that ur missin out on s/t very very very funny.
fine...smash my bubble of ecstasy
and...i didnt wear socks today...
and here i was thinking u figures it all out...
Say whats the big idea posting a picture with a child holding a cigarette and beer bottle? is that what you want of todays children? what would happen if your little brother happened to read your blog and saw that picture? he would try to imitate it! shame on you!
(don't answer that your brother wont do it or that you don't have a brother, I meant it metaphorically )
To: moshe "m.s." or is it "lier?"
the way i see it you are a coward who is too scared to look inside of himself and instead curses out evryone else while u hide behind the name of "emes"
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