A man and his chavrusa are learning in the local beit midrash.
"I have some wonderful news," says the man. "My daughter is getting married."
"Mazal Tov!" says his friend. "That's wonderful!"
"Thank you. Well, here's the thing. We've been learning together for
over 20 years, and you're one of the most important people in my life.
I'd really like you to be an Eyd for the wedding."
His friend looks suddenly embarrassed. "I'm sorry, old friend, but I'm
afraid I can't accept. You see, I'm not Jewish." "What?! But how could
you not be?"
"Well," says his friend, "I find shul to be very spiritually
fulfilling, and the learning is the best intellectual stimulation
around, to say nothing of this wonderful community. I've devoted my
life to the mitzvot, but I've never actually converted."
The man is aghast. "But didn't we just learn that a goy who observes
Shabbat incurs the death penalty?"
"Oh, no worries," says his friend. "I don't keep Shabbat. You see,
every Saturday morning before going to shul, I put a key in my
pocket."
"So? Our community has an Eruv."
"Feh," says his friend. "I don't hold by that Eruv!"

G'shabbos to y'all.