Feeling old'ish :)

Sometimes I feel old, and then sometimes I feel older.

I found most of these, but here and there I just had to add in some of my own lines. Enjoy.

Signs that you might be getting old.

You call your best friend to go out at night, and he is already sleeping, yet its only 2 in the morning!
You go to 711 and walk right past the slurpie’s and beer to get yourself some coffee
6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
You watch the Weather Channel.
Your parents don’t command you anymore, they advise you.
You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up."
You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door
won't turn down the stereo.
Older relatives feel comfortable telling dirty jokes around you.
You don't know what time the neighborhood late night food joint closes anymore.
Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
You take naps, involuntarily!
Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good sh*t."
You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
"I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to
drink that much again."
You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.
One of life's mysteries is how a two-pound box of candy can make a person gain five pounds.
You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
You can't remember the last time you lay on the floor to watch television.
90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking "Oh sh*t, what the hell happened?"

Signs that you are might be getting “older”

You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.
Your glasses are so thick, their bulletproof.
Your back goes out more than you do.
You sit in the rocking chair and can't get it going, or, you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster
You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
You buy a compass for the dash of your car.
Your best friend is dating someone half their age... And isn't breaking any laws.
Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
You sing along with the elevator music.
Your knees buckle, but your belt won't.
You would rather go to work than stay home sick.
You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.
You get pulled over for driving to slow.
You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
People call at 9 pm. And ask, "Did I wake you?"
You have a dream about prunes.
A good movie is one that keeps you awake, at least for the first hour.
You answer a question with "Because I said so!"
You’re smiling all the time because you can't hear a darn thing people are saying.
You’re very good at telling stories; over and over and over and over...
I'm so cared for -- long term care, eye care, private care, dental care
The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants.
You sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there.
You wear black socks with sandals.
You have too much room in the house and not enough room in the medicine cabinet.
You know what the word equity means.
Your ears are hairier than your head.
The little old gray-haired lady you help across the street is your wife.
You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.
You got cable for the weather channel.
Your broad mind and narrow waist have exchanged places
You can go bowling without drinking.
Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
You know all the answers, but nobody asks the questions.

So what makes you feel old?

*********** ZzzzzZZzzzzz*********

Cant fall asleep, had to get up to add these.

My favorite growing up sign:

You’re out with the family and your dad begins to do the usual (fatherly) goofy shtick, and instead of getting all uncomfortable and embarrassed like the younger kids, you smile and join your dad in the fun. Luv ya pops ;)

And this one's for my grandmother, you know your getting "older" when:

You know so much about everyone that even the CIA comes to you for information – G-d bless you bubby :)