L’chaim!!!

Not only is alcohol healthy, “A drink a day keeps the doctor away” right, (the problem with me is that I barely even touched alcohol until the age of 17, so the way I see it I have a lot of catching up to do :) And of course lets not forget the amazing medicinal affects of alcohol, let me tell you Tylenol or Advil never cured any of my body pains, but a couple of l’chaims works magic…

Here are two geniuses, who did some research and came up with some amazing results, I love these guys, I hope they win a Nobel Peace Prize for this important discovery ;)

People Who Drink Make More Money

This is the stunning finding from respected academics who really did get paid to come up with this: People who drink alcohol earn higher salaries than those who never imbibe. Those respected researchers, who go by the names Edward Stringham and Bethany Peters, conducted this high brow investigation at San Jose State University. They determined that drinking booze helps people build relationships and network professionally, which in turn makes them more valuable employees. And that increases their paychecks. "Social drinking builds social capital," Stringham told Agence France Presse.

Specifically, the researchers determined that social drinkers earn 10 to 14 percent more than teetotalers. "Social drinkers are out networking, building relationships, and adding contacts to their BlackBerries that result in bigger paychecks," he explained to AFP.

So how in the world did they reach this conclusion, sure to be embraced during happy hour by bars nationwide? "We created our hypothesis through casual observation and examination of scholarly accounts," the authors wrote in the Journal of Labor Research. "Drinkers typically tend to be more social than abstainers." An empirical survey backed up the theory. Stringham and Peters insist that those who drink alcohol have a larger group of social contacts that can provide better job and business opportunities. "Drinkers may be able to socialize more with clients and co-workers, giving drinkers an advantage in important relationships," the researchers wrote. "Drinking may also provide individuals with opportunities to learn people, business and social skills."

They actually go so far as to say these conclusions argue against regulations that restrict drinking on university campuses and in public venues, claiming such policies not only make for less fun, but also lower earnings.

One important point: The authors acknowledge that their study contradicts similar research conducted in 2000 by the Harvard School of Public Health. This latest research was funded by the libertarian think tank, the Reason Foundation.

Now this gives a whole new meaning to saying "l’chaim to success"



GOOD SAMARITAN

A man walks in to a bar and orders a drink. He looks down the bar and sees another piss drunk man keep falling off his stool. The man finishes his drink watching the other man try to get back up on the stool.

Feeling sorry for the drunk, the man tries to stand him up, but the drunk keeps falling. The man thinks that this drunk needs to be taken home, so he finds his address in his wallet. On the way to his car, the man had to practically carry the drunk man.

After finally finding his house, the man carries the drunk man to the front door. He rings the doorbell and a lady answers. "Ma'am, your husband is drunk, so I decided to give him a lift home."

The woman replies, "Thank you sir, but I have one question...Where's his wheelchair?"

TOO MANY BARS

A drunk walks into a bar, sits down and demands a drink.

"Get out" says the bartender. "I don't serve drunks here".

The drunk staggers out the front door, only to come back in through the side door.
He sits at the bar, bangs his fist and demands a drink.

"I just told you to get out, didn't I? Now LEAVE!".

The drunk gets off his stool, stumbles out the side door and, comes back inside through the back door. Once again, he sits at the bar and loudly asks for a drink.

The bartender, now glowing mad, looks at the drunk and yells "I TOLD YOU, NO DRUNKS ALLOWED, NOW GET OUT!!!".

The drunk looks up at the bartender and slurs "How many bars do you work at, anyway?".