Monday, October 30, 2006


Thinking of doctors (Thank you all, I’m feeling much better now, and my ribs are almost fully healed) brought back a flood of childhood memories, some made me smile and others still freak me out, mainly the ones having to do with my childhood fear of needles (ok so needles still freak me out even now, but not as bad as then) here is just one of the many CS classics

My personal favorite is actually a dentist story. I must have been 6 or 7 at the time and the doc, who was a woman, decided that I had to have a tooth yanked out. Now as if that wasn’t enough to freak the heck out of me I was informed that I would need one or two shots of Novocain (or sleepy juice as my dentist called it) as well.

Appointment day arrived and scared me decided there was no way I was going through with that procedure, trust me I was biting on apple’s all day long (which never works when you want it to) anything so as not to have to go in for those needles, but to no avail. Appointment time arrives with my tooth still firmly set in my mouth and so there’s my mom trying to schlep me into the car to the dentists office and me doing my darn best to run away and lock myself in my room.

My mom eventually gave in and decided to try a different tactic, I was in love with baseball at that time and my mom knew that I was dieing to own a baseball bat, so she made a deal with me that if I went to the dentist and let the lady to what she had to, then she would take me out that very day and buy me my own bat! What can I say, my mom found my weak spot, and off we went to the dentist’s office…

After sitting on pins and needles in the waiting room for a bit, I was finally called into the torture chamber, oh I remember it like yesterday, the big brown leather dentist chair, the doc and her helper, my mom cheering me on by my side and there’s me, the poor little shaigitz about to pish in my pants out off fright. Putting on a brave face I let the doc put the apron over me and guzzled town at least two cups of free dentist water as she explained to me that I would need two “sleepy juice” shots, each one will only take 10 seconds, and she will even count out loud for me to know when its over, and I wouldn’t feel a thing. Yeah right!

Everything was going well, that brand new baseball bat was almost mine, and then the doc leaned over me with the needle in her hand… By G-d I’m pretty darn sure that woman never heard a child scream so loud before, boy was I frantic, but before I can jump out off my seat doc had her helper pinning me down! my mom begged me to cooperate, at least if I wanted that darn baseball bat, and so still wild eyed and whimpering I reluctantly let the doc pry my mouth open and jam that needle into my gums, I don’t recall her making it to 10 but let me tell you, it hurt!

Anyhow, one down and one to go, thing is that by then I had already given up all hope over that bat ‘cuz there was no way in hell I was going through with that second shot! The doc obviously had other plans as she had the helper hold me down yet again (which was no easy feat, as I was squirming around like a fish on land) and she mistakenly attempted the second dose of “sleepy juice” But I had already made up my mind, and there was no way I was going to allow that to happen!

So there she is leaning over me with the needle in hand, and her aid pinning me down to the chair, the doc slowly pry’s my mouth open yet again and slipped that needle into my gums… BITE! OMG you should have heard her scream! She put my vocal skills to shame, I bit down on hard her finger, so hard in fact that the needle along with her helper and all the rest of her equipment went flying, along me of course, running as fast as I can out of that office, past all the “freaked out” patients in the waiting room, who probably thought someone was dieing in there, with my mom chasing me out the door…

Needles to say, I never heard from that dentist again, and there was no way my mom would ever take any of the kids back there (as if they would allow anyone from my family back) from then on we went to a new dentist, one who was smart enough to hide the needle and not brandish it in front of my face like a gun, and as much as I complained how unfair it was, (hey I did get one shot after all,) I never did get that baseball bat.

I’m not going to get into all my other doctor/needle stories, but lets just say, they frequently included me bawling my head off (how embarrassing) and scenes which would seem as if from a war zone, and usually ending with teary eyed me making a hasty exit out of a deathly silent waiting room, with my red-faced mom or dad in tow.

Gosh I sure hope my kids wont be like me back then, although in my home it always made for a great excuse, whenever my parents left the house and one of the younger siblings would start crying because they wanted to go as well, we would simply inform the little one that mommy and daddy were going to visit the doctors to get needles… it worked every time :)

16 Comments:

At 10:10 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are my son, incarnate. Ok, he didn't bite the dentist, but he squirmed worse than Gotti on the hotseat. Thank G-d we were introduced to a pediatric dentist who specializes in "difficult" children. He restored the oral health of my children, and he did it with their full cooperation. Of course, the restoration of their oral health was in direct proportion to the depletion of my monetary assets, but that's a whole 'nuther story for a whole 'nuther day.

 
At 1:14 PM, Blogger anonym00kie said...

needles never scared me, in fact when i get a needle i usually watch, its less painful than getting it unexpectedly.
the truth is that i alwasy kind of secretly thought people were faking when theyd get all freaked out by needles.. i guess i was wrong.. oops

 
At 4:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"After sitting on pins and needles in the waiting room for a bit"

ye can probably sue em for their untidiness

 
At 9:57 PM, Blogger Chasidishe Shaigitz said...

DEEPTHINKER: Thanks allot and welcome.

Not to worry I'm sure we aren't the only ones, I actually know that for a fact after going through the Dor yesharim Tai-sacs testing, and no I wasn't the one that fainted.

ITSALLGOOD: "worse than Gotti on the hotseat" LOL the poor thing, I know the feeling ;)

Interesting thing, special dentist like that, would like to know how did he manage? Knocking out the patient before he begins? ;)

Bummer on the money, insurance wouldn't cover it?

ANONYM00KIE: Lucky Lucky you, ahhh! how the H can you watch them prick you! Oh I wish you were right but it ain't so, there is no faking that kinda thing.

SABRA: :) but then she might counter sue me for the bite :(

 
At 2:54 AM, Blogger the sabra said...

i guess its a matter of investigatin what is worse-ur bite or her bark...

ouch, bad one, i know

 
At 3:50 AM, Blogger Pragmatician said...

Funny story, although less fun for your mom at the time.

And I thought I was bad.

 
At 10:03 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know how Gotti felt on the hotseat, or you know how my son felt?? Just kidding. Of course, my son felt worse than Gotti because Gotti knew the jury was gonna be "hung" (which is what would have happened to the jurors had they reached a guilty verdict).
How the dentist managed? I think it was a combination of his business-like attitude (I am going to give you a needle, it will pinch a drop, but a big boy like you can handle it. It's nothing as bad as the fight you had with your friend in yeshivah the other day! etc..) and me hyping up the dentist before we even stepped into the office (He's a great dentist. People only come to him when all other dentists fail. He's so good, he doesn't haveto accept insurance and people still flock to him. etc...)
My insurance reimbursed me for 50% of the "usual and customary" charges, and I can assure you that this dentist's rate were far from usual and far from customary, so I only got back about 25% of what I paid. But it was worth it because I retrieved 100% of my sanity re: dental visits.

 
At 11:08 AM, Blogger socialworker/frustrated mom said...

My daughter will have to have a blood test soon as pretesting before she gets her Adenoids out. This post made me think of her and I am so dreading it.

 
At 11:22 AM, Blogger kasamba said...

OMG! you poor thing!
I hope your family didn't 'needle' you about it!

 
At 12:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I bit my dentist... but only because he did that thing where he asked me a buncha questions whilst my mouth was full of needles, mirrors, drills...and his fingers.

He asked me a question.

I answered forgetting about his fingers...

and that's how i lost the right to visit my dentist.

 
At 2:27 PM, Blogger Chaya said...

i used to be so terrified of needles, i once pulled the dentists hand out of my mouth...my fear of drills overpowered tho, i don't let the dentist do ANYTHING in my mouth w/o an injection or gas...even when he was refilling a tooth that had root canal done on it.

 
At 6:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sw/FM,there is a topical numbing cream available by prescription. It's called Emla and it works wonders.

 
At 9:03 PM, Blogger Jo said...

The first time I had to get teeth pulled (I was about 16) I convinced my dentist not to give me novocaine. I found out the hard way that the topical cream does NOT work wonders - the pain is worse than the shots.
CS you picture reminded me of me, except that part of it being a little boy.

 
At 4:39 AM, Blogger Chasidishe Shaigitz said...

SABRA: LOL Funny you.

PRAG: It’s normally my dad who comes with us to the doctors or dentists, my mom actually can’t bare to watch usually.

JEMINA3: So I've heard! Thank you G-d Shelo asani isha ;)

ITSALLGOOD: Hehe, and he sure sounds like my kinda dentist, great child psychology.

Shame about the costs, but as you put it, 100% sanity is worth every penny :)

SOCIAL: Oysh! Best of luck!

KASAMBA: Thanks for the sympathy, at least someone understands me!

They tried to needle me but I was to numb to feel it ;)

TNC: lol got me cracking up.

PRINCES: Oh I did that all the time, whenever I would feel any pain I'd yank the dentist hand out of my mouth and give him a dirty look.

Ouch the drill, somehow I'm never numb enough and always manage to feel it.

ITSALLGOOD: Reminds me of the day a kid from my class brought something like that to school, half the class had numb lips and were talking funny.

INTRANSIT: Ahhh! Imagining that pain is making me cringe, big mistake.

 
At 8:44 PM, Blogger Nemo said...

How timely, I just had my wisdom teeth taken out yesterday. You shoulda tried the laughing gas. You woulda liked it.

 
At 12:15 AM, Blogger Sara with NO H said...

I just got a wisdom tooth out last week. No fair nemo...they wouldnt gss me.

I was scared of needles too. But not the dentist. Mine was more of drawing blood thing. So many times I would run and hide at the doctors office and they'd end up taking my blood wherever they could find me because there was no way they could get me back in that room the way I could kick and scream. I still hae having blood taken. I cry almost every time it's done.

 

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