I must have heard these 2 jokes over a million times, (without exaggeration ;) yet each time I read em it brings a smile to my face. Enjoy.

The Optimist

A group of elderly Jewish men meet every Wednesday for a coffee and a chat.

They drink their coffee and then sit for hours discussing the world situation. Usually, their discussion is very negative.

One day, Moishe surprises his friends by announcing, loud and clear, "You know what? I've now become an optimist."

Everyone is totally shocked and all conversation dries up.

But then Sam notices something isn't quite right and he says to Moishe, "Hold on a minute, if you're an optimist, why are you looking so worried?"

Moishe replies, "Nu? You think it's easy being an optimist?"

The Troubled Boys

In a certain Orthodox neighborhood, there were two brothers, Yaakov, 8 and Yisroel 10 years old, who were exceedingly mischievous. Whatever went wrong in the neighborhood, it turned out they had had a hand in it. Their parents were at their wit's end trying to control them.

Hearing about a rabbi nearby who worked with delinquent boys, the mother suggested to the father that they ask the rabbi to talk with the boys. The father replied, "Sure!"

The mother went to the rabbi and made her request. He agreed, but said he wanted to see the younger boy first and alone. So the mother sent him to the rabbi while the father kept Yisroel at home.

The rabbi sat the Yaakov down across a huge, impressive desk he sat behind. For about five minutes they just sat and stared at each other.

Finally, the rabbi pointed his forefinger at Yaakov and asked, "Where is Hashem?"

Yaakov said nothing.

Again, in a louder tone, the rabbi pointed at Yaakov and asked, "Where is Hashem?"

Again Yaakov said nothing.

A third time, in a louder, firmer voice, the rabbi leaned far across the desk and put his forefinger almost in Yaakov's nose, and asked, "Where is Hashem?"

Yaakov panicked and ran all the way home. Finding his older brother, he dragged him upstairs to their room and into the closet, where they usually plotted their mischief. He finally said, "We are in BIIIIG trouble!"

Yiosroel asked, "What do you mean, BIIIIG trouble?"

Yaakov replied, "Hashem is missing... and they think we did it."