Some good old jewish humor, some are good, some are old, either way enjoy :)

Q: Why don't Jewish mothers drink?
A: Alcohol interferes with their suffering.

Q: Why do Jewish Mothers make great parole officers?
A: They never let anyone finish a sentence.

Q: What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish Mother-in-law?
A: Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go.

Q: Why did Adam and Eve have a perfect marriage?
A: He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married,and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked or cleaned.

Did you hear about the bum who walked up to the Jewish mother on the street and said, 'Lady, I haven't eaten in three days.' "Force yourself," she replied.

Jewish telegram: "Begin worrying. Details to follow"

Q: What business is a yenta in?
A: Yours.

Q: Define "genius"
A: An average student with a Jewish mother

A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother he's been given a part in the school play.

"Wonderful. What part is it?" The boy says,"I play the part of the Jewish husband." The mother scowls and says, "Go back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part."

Jewish proverb: "A Jewish wife will forgive and forget, but she'll never
forget what she forgave."

CHUTZPA according to the Funk & Wagnall's Standard Desk Dictionary – US slang meaning: brazen, effrontery, nerve, impudence, having gall, cheeky. The word is Hebrew in origin.

Bill Gates decides to organize an enormous session of recruitment for a chairman for Microsoft Europe. The 5000 candidates are all assembled in a large room. One of the candidates is Maurice Cohen, a little Parisian Jewish Tunisian.

Bill Gates thanks all the candidates for coming and asks that all those who do not know JAVA program language rise and leave. 2000 people rise and leave the room. Maurice Cohen says to himself - "I do not know this language but what have I got to lose if I stay? I'll give it a try".

Bill Gates asks all the candidates that those who have never had experience of team management of more than 100 people rise and leave. 2000 people rise and leave the room. Maurice Cohen says to himself - "I have never managed anybody but myself bu what have I got to lose if I stay? What can happen to me"? So he stays.

Then Bill Gates asks all the candidates who do not have excellent management diplomas to rise and leave. 500 people rise and leave the room. Maurice Cohen says to himself - "I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose if I stay? So he stays in the room.

Lastly, Bill Gates asks all of the candidates who do not speak the Serbo-Croat language to rise and leave. 498 people rise and leave the room. Maurice Cohen says himself - "I do not speak Serbo-Croat but what the hell! - have I got anything to lose?" So he stays in the room.

He finds himself alone with one other candidate - everyone else has gone.

Bill Gates joins them and says: "Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo-Croatian, so I'd now like to hear you both have a little conversation in that language!

Calmly Maurice turns to the other candidate and says to him: " Baruch ata Adonaï ".

The other candidate answers: "Elohénou melech haolam".