OxyMORON.

Was thinking a while ago of writing up something on oxymoron’s (after someone had pointed out to me for like the 20th time that Chasidishe Shaigitz is a oxymoron.) I had a really busy day and now I’m tottaly zonked and yet I figured there is never a better time then the present, right? G-d I’m so addicted, someone help!

Oxymorons.

To start with let me knock off some very simple oxymoronic words which drive me nuts, ever need a answer to a question and you ask someone if they know the answer and the reply is “More or Less” What exactly is that supposed to mean, in what way did that answer the question, More? Or less? Call me stupid but if your going to answer my question with a answer like that I’m going to find my answers elsewhere!

How about when your waiting for someone to arrive and you ask your friend when that person is meant to show up, and of course you get the reply of “Sooner or Later” again call me stupid but in what way did that answer my question? Sooner? Or later? Great now I’m more confused then before, that’s almost as bad as if I had asked if that person was coming altogether and the reply was that its a “Definite Maybe”!

More simple stuff now, why is it that when it’s a mess its “Pretty Awful” yet when its nice its “Awfully Pretty” Last time I checked awful is nowhere near pretty. Or how about when your mother works so hard to make her great tasting chicken soup and you tell her its “Awfully good” talk about compliments huh, doesn’t that sound “Awfully Nice”.

How about regarding last post when your ready to go and make a speech, you get nervous and your friend tells you not to worry, just “Act Natural” Now hold on here a second buddy if you want me to be natural there then I wouldn’t be acting now, would I? Great now I'm more nervous then before!

How about when you just found out some shmutz on a friend, and you friend who already knew about it tells you that it’s a “Open Secret” Call me dumb but if its in the open then there really isn’t anything secret about it, right? Of the topic for a second but you know what they say about secrets, “A secret is something that you only tell to one person at a time”.

What about when your listening to the news and they tell you something was “Found Missing” If I have to explain this one I’ll shoot myself, even worse though is when they finally find the “found missing” thing and they say they got it back “Almost Exactly” like it was before… Almost or exactly? Make up your darn mind. Sounds like my sister buying a dress for a wedding but she can’t buy that one cuz it looks “almost exactly” like someone else’s, my, if only it had been a bit more almost and a lot less exact.

Ever see someone who was “Clearly Confused”? That’s enough to confuse me.

How about something that is “Seriously Funny” Listen if its serious then Im not laughing.

Ok sorry all I got plenty more here but its now 4 in the morning and I gotta go home, thats right I'm not home now as the interet connection in my home has been disconnected (long story) oh and plus I am kinda tired, so thats it for now.

Buenas Noches, Laila tov. And peace to all.