Shabbat Shalom :)

One Friday morning, a letter dropped through Rabbi Bloom’s letterbox. He opened it and took out a single sheet of paper. On it was written just one word: "SCHMUCK"
Next day, at the end of his shabbos sermon, Rabbi Bloom announced to his congregation, "I have previously come across people who have written to me but forgot to sign the letter. This week, however, I received a letter from someone who signed it but forgot to write the letter."

A Gabbai approaches a guest in the synagogue one shabbos and says, "I want to give you Aliyah. What’s your name?"
The man answers, "Rifka bat Jacov."
The Gabbai says, "No, I need your name."
The man says, "I told you, it’s Rifka bat Jacov."
The Gabbai asks, "How can that be your name?"
The man replies, "I've recently been in some serious financial difficulties and so everything is now in my wife's name."

A man crosses Bedford Ave in Williamsburg, ON SHABBOS, when he sees a pack of money. With a rubber band around it...HUNDRED DOLLAR BILLS!

He places his foot on top of it, and stands there. After a few minutes, traffic is building up, and people are honking..YELLING "GET OUT OF THE STREETS". He points to the money under his foot, and the motorists yell "PICK IT UP", and he replies" I can't...It's SHABBOS!"

Well in about an HOUR the traffic is BACKED UP TO ATLANTIC AVENUE (MILES) and a cop comes up to the man and says "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?".

The man tilts his foot over and shows the policeman the PACK OF MONEY.

The cop says "PICK IT UP". The man says "I can't ...It's Shabbos...I can't".

The policeman had enought at this point and whacks the man over his head.... As the man falls over , He scoops up the money, puts it in his pocket, and walks away.

The cops yells "HOW COME YOU PICKED UP THE MONEY, I THOUGHT YOU ARENT ALLOWED TO DO SO?"

The mans calls back "Well, when you hit me, I saw stars".......

A Guten Shabbos to you all,
CS.