Pesach Blues
Repost from last year of all my favorite pesach links.
Pesach Cleaning :)
Kosher for passover beer!
Who let the jews out?
How to break Matzah exactly in half! (Japanese, What!)
And some pesach stories (humor) from last year.
If anyone knows of any other interesting pesach links please feel free to share.
Add on due to bloggers request ;)
The Two-Minute Seder: A Passover Service for the Impatient
Opening prayers:
Thanks God, for creating wine. (Drink wine.)
Thanks for creating produce. (Eat parsley.)
Overview: Once we were slaves in Egypt. Now we're free. That's why
we're doing this.
Four Questions:
1. What's up with the matzoh?
2. What's the deal with horseradish?
3. What's with the dipping of the herbs?
4. What's this whole slouching at the table business?
Answers:
1. When we left Egypt, we were in a hurry. There was no time for
making decent bread.
2. Life was bitter, like horseradish.
3. It's called symbolism.
4. Free people get to slouch.
A funny story: Once, these five rabbis talked all night, then it was
morning. (Heat soup now.)
The four kinds of children and how to deal with them:
Wise child - explain Passover.
Simple child - explain Passover slowly.
Silent child - explain Passover loudly.
Wicked child - browbeat in front of the relatives.
Speaking of children: We hid some matzoh. Whoever finds it gets five
bucks.
The story of Passover: It's a long time ago. We're slaves in Egypt. Pharaoh is a nightmare. We cry out for help. God brings plagues upon the Egyptians. We escape, bake some matzoh. God parts the Red Sea. We make it through; the Egyptians aren't so lucky. We wander 40 years in the desert, eat manna, get the Torah, wind up in Israel, get a new temple, enjoy several years without being persecuted again.
(Let brisket cool now.)
The 10 Plagues: Blood, Frogs, Lice - you name it.
The singing of "Dayenu":
If God had gotten us out of Egypt and not punished our enemies, it would've been enough. If he'd punished our enemies and not parted the Red Sea, if would've been enough. If he'd parted the Red Sea -
(Remove gefilte fish from refrigerator now.)
Eat matzoh. Drink more wine. Slouch.
Thanks again, God, for everything.
SERVE MEAL.
Add on #2
From JibJab. MATZAH! (Not so kosher.)
posted by Chasidishe Shaigitz @ 3:22 AM
26 comments
26 Comments:
Why? WHy? Why???
Why didn't you put up the links?
thank you ;)
i checked out the 2 i could.....
Beer article-too long and boring to finish
Last years post-News report-hysterical!
Herb-not so funny
cs. the 2 minute seder :)
http://chasidisheshaigitz.blogspot.com/2007/04/pesach-blues.html
Pesach Cleaning-I was almost crying :'( :D
Who let the Jews Out-even funnier than last year
Japanese Matza breaking-loved the running commentary
Thanks for da laughs
WIRED: Was thinking about posting it.
I did have this link from last year called the 1 minute seder but for some reason it aint working so i left it out.
SABRA: Hey that guy stole all my links!
CHAYA: Glad you enjoyed, with sound I assume ;)
that took way more than two minutes
cs. hmm WIRED perhaps.. i donno..
i wonder was it onpurpose that u wrote wired or was it a spelling mistake?
ye 'wired' was a spelling mistake
he meant 'weird'
Lol...ye I took a break...
c. u know i decided that ur cute though i'm wondering are u stalking me folowing me around from blog to blog and all ;p
though asusuall ur s/o i can count on to curse me out and make me laugh :-)
oh and cs. dont you dare get any idea's bout what i said bout C.
ROFL bout the Two minute seder...I was doing some serious laughing...good stuff. Now just gotta print it and share-u mind?
cute?
cute??
CUTE?!??!
c. i see from the amount of times that you repeated it that you agree ;p
cs, i think this is where you step in and make some remark to wires that a) embarrasses him and b)shuts him up for a good long time..
people please I'm busy here (drinking all the beer I can before pesach) but hey yah know there is this great prog called AIM, you might want to think about using it! (or perhaps just exchange cell-phone number!)
imposter
Not at all.
WIRED and C sitting on a tree, F I G H T I N G, LALALA
OOOH Its a shidduch date in the making.
i thought lubavitchers only marry fellow lubavitchers
A. How was I to know? ( and I was so sure C was for Chaya Mushka)
B. Not always, but then again let's see what WIRE(d)S has to say ;)
let's not
and lol to a
cs. first of all i already told u my answer to the aim idea
second i also told u not to get any idea's bout what i said bout C.
(oh and C. i wonder is your name c..v. (the dots represents letters) and i seem to recall a comment s/t bout there being more bnos chabad like u ;)
Nice post! Thanks for the MATZAH! link, great comments here =) -- JibJab Team
yo wires? let's go back to the original blog* and u and my mashpia can fight it out there, k?
*yknow where matzah bakeries and afros and snow and kallahs all swirl around pleasantly..that is until u come n pick fights...
JOEY: Thanks and welcome!
SO when do I get paid for the link ;) hehehe.
C: Great idea... LOL I'm sure B and Afros will be glad to have you guys back :p
cs. in my defense i was not the one to bring it here
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