Shapiro's son, Greg, walked up to his father's rabbi during the break between the Musaf and Mincha services on Yom Kippur.

"Rabbi Pollak, you must help me...I know that we're supposed to fast this day, but I am so thirsty--I must be allowed to have something to drink!"

Rabbi Pollak quietly, but firmly responded, "I am sorry, but it must be pekuach nefesh (life-threatening) before the fast may be broken."

"But, you don't understand," whined young Shapiro, "if I don't get something soon, I am going to faint from thirst." Shapiro had continued on for some time when the rabbi finally relented and instructed the Gabbai to give Greg a shot-glass of water.

Young Shapiro quickly downed the liquid, whereupon he gasped, "That's the last time I have salt herring for breakfast on Yom Kippur."

Food for the Fast
Rabbi to parishioner: "Yes I understand that McDonalds calls it "fast food"...but you STILL can't eat it on Yom Kippur!"

Day of Atonement Blog Prayer

For the sin which we have committed
by commenting/posting too often,
And for the sin which we have committed
by not commenting/posting at all when we have something valuable to say;

For the sin which we have committed
by commenting angrily in haste,
And for the sin which we have committed
by posting private e-mail’s in a public blog;

For the sin which we have committed
by misinterpreting others' words,
And for the sin which we have committed
by not expressing ourselves clearly;

For the sin which we have committed
by being sarcastic to other blog members,
And for the sin which we have committed
by not being tolerant of their positions;

For the sin which we have committed
by not explaining technical terms,
And for the sin which we have committed
by assuming others know as much as we do;

For the sin which we have committed
by writing long and pointless posts,
And for the sin which we have committed
by posting short and confusing ones;

For the sin which we have committed
by quoting others' posts in their entirety,
And for the sin which we have committed
by not providing context to our replies;

For any of these above mentioned sins, and whether it may be for only posting once a month or 30 times a day, for blog plagiarism or for not giving credit at all when doing so, for blogging inappropriate material, knowingly and unknowingly…

For all of these, Oh Forgiving One,
Forgive Us, Pardon Us, and Grant Us Atonement, and bless us with a long and healthy Blog life.

NOTE: I would like to take this opportunity to ask for forgiveness from all my fellow bloggers if I have ever spoken, posted or commented wrong about any of you, or I if have ever upset or disrespected anyone, please forgive me. Chadishe Shaigitz.

Humility

One Yom Kippur, in a little shul, the rabbi stops in the middle of the musaf service, prostrates himself beside the bimah, and cries out, “O God. Before You, I am nothing!”

The chazen is so moved by this demonstration of piety that he immediately follows suit, throwing himself to the floor beside the rabbi and crying, 'O God! Before you, I am nothing!”

In the ensuing silence, a shuffling is heard in the back row. Saul Blumenthal jumps from his seat, prostrates himself in the isle and cries, “O God! Before You, I am nothing!”

Seeing this, the chazen nudges the rabbi and whispers, “So look who thinks he’s nothing?”

Yizkor Baby

A man comes into the shul to ask the rebbe for help. His wife is in labor and it is taking a long time for the baby to come out and he doesn't know what to do. As it happens, the rebbe is not there that day but his young 10 year old son is sitting next to place where the rebbe usually sits. After hearing the man's problem, the rebbe's son tells the man to go home and say Yizkor and then everything will be alright. Sure enough, the man goes home and davens Yizkor and then his wife gives birth shortly afterwards.

The next day he goes back to the shul and thanks the rebbe profusely for his son's help.

After the man leaves, the rebbe turns to his son and tells him, "Shmerrill, I'm very impressed that you knew what to tell this man to do so his wife would give birth. But tell me, why did you tell him to say Yizkor?"

The son replies, "Because before we daven Yizkor you always say 'All Children must go out now!'"

Wishing all my fellow bloggers a G’mar Chasima Tova, an easy and “fast” fast, and may your prayers be heard like the rumbling in your stomachs :)