Wednesday, January 17, 2007

European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

*****************

Been real busy lately, cramming for a smicha test this coming motzey shabbos, (hopefully after that blogging will return to normal.)
Wish me luck.

CS.

13 Comments:

At 4:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

cs. in short just learn to reed rit and "pronounce" english (or is it yinglish) "oholei torah" style ;p (nevermind grammer)

 
At 6:21 PM, Blogger Chasidishe Shaigitz said...

;) My mom finally realized it was time to start giving my younger bro english lessons after she asked him to spell "Lettuce" and he spelled it L-e-t-u-s No joke!

OTC!

 
At 7:10 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hazlocho rabbo, may you make us proud!

 
At 9:59 PM, Blogger Chasidishe Shaigitz said...

Thanks AMOM. AMEN. :)

 
At 11:58 AM, Blogger the sabra said...

agree w/ amom

 
At 2:14 PM, Blogger Jo said...

Hatzlacha on your test!

 
At 7:23 PM, Blogger C said...

Very cute
Good luck on your test. U said u don;t get nervous...just cram well

 
At 10:21 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

So how was the test? Are you officially REB C.S.?

 
At 8:04 PM, Blogger Chasidishe Shaigitz said...

I passed :)

Not yet Rabbi, only halfway through, two more tests to go.

Still half shaigitz ;)

 
At 9:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

1/2 rabbi cannot be 1/2 shaigitz, what would it take to change your name? doesnt ones chayos come from his name? like when someone faints....

 
At 1:36 PM, Blogger C said...

MAZAL TOV!!!

 
At 8:24 PM, Blogger Rach said...

i saw on ur other post that u passed so hatzlacha on the next omnes!

 
At 3:01 AM, Blogger Mottel said...

Liked this joke . . .

 

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