Chag Kosher V'sameach!

MATZAH???

CS Theory

“Mosses saw that no matter how hard he pleaded and begged pharaoh wasn’t going to let the jews go, so seeing no alternative he was forced to bring the final plague… he sent forth his dear mother in law to negotiate with king pharaoh.

5 minutes later the jews were free. It seems pharaoh was so terrified of the dreaded mother-in-law plague that he actually demanded that the Jews leave right away. Unfortunately the jews had absolutely no time to prepare and subsequently they had nothing to eat for their journey into the desert.

Most jewish wives did what jewish women do in general when there is nothing to eat, which is to send their husbands to the local Chinese dinner, but it seemed their luck had run out as the hour was late and all the Chinese restaurants were closed! Sad to say cooking chicken or yummy schnitzel wasn’t an option as the jews had recently discovered that there was something fishy with their local shochet, and cow/steak would have been wonderful but alas they were all stricken with the terrible “Pissed off/Mad cow disease”.

But praise the Lord who is forever merciful the jews finally stumbled upon a source of late night food… hidden somewhere in the deserted Egyptian alleyways the tired and hungry Hebrew came across a greasy yet tasty “shwarma falafel” joint owned by one of their own Israeli brethren! And so it was that as the Jews left Egypt each one was munching happily on a LAFFA filled with LAMB SHAWRMA, which they spoke about forever due to some BITTER spread called SCHUG with had them all running for the bathrooms the next day…”

So there you have it guys, it was LAFFA not MATZAH the jews were eating as they left Egypt! I mean think about it, same shape and same size (both are thin and round,) and ok the name is a bit off, but hey they rhyme! And no it aint the lamb of the Korban pesach we mention each year by the seder, it was the freakin shwarma! And let’s not forget about the Schug/bitter herb…

Now just think about it, instead of matza and marror, we’d be having laffa and shwarma (with some hot peppers and some schug) for pesach!


Now that's what I call a sandwich! (Mmmm guess what I'm having for Korech ;)


Ok before I drive meself meshugah over that one here is another one of my Theories.

Kitnious/beans.

Skip all the halacha excuses and lets just get to the real reason why we stay away from kitnious on pesach.

MATAZAH = Constipation

BEANS = Gas

Anyone need me to explain???

Wishing you all a kosher and freilichen pesach!

Next/This/ year in Jerusalem! (With shwarma!)

CS.