YOU KNOW ITS A HOT SUMMER WHEN...
• The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
• Who needs a microwave or toaster oven when 5 minutes in the sun will do the job.
• Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.
• The cows are giving evaporated milk.
• The trees are whistling for the dogs.
• The fire hydrants are flagging down dogs for relief.
• You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
• The marshmallows melt before you could roast them over the grill.
• You can say 113 degrees without fainting.
• You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.
• You can make instant sun tea.
• You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
• The temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.
• You would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.
• You can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.
• The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!
• You discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.
• You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.
• You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
• Hot water now comes out of both taps.
• Its noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets.
• You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
• You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. before work.
• Taking a shower is almost pointless, because its so hot you break out in sweat just from drying yourself
• No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning.
• Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
• You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
• You pass by the homeless people and see then frying eggs and making pancakes, on the sidewalk!
• The devil stays out of your city, because it’s so hot.
• You turn on the fan, but it only blows hot air.
• A winter blizzard doesn’t sound so bad anymore.
• You finish cooking the hot dogs and burgers on the grill and realize you never lit the coals.



ITS IN YOUR HEAD
(A story/joke I remember from my fifth grade teacher, hey I might have forgotten the gemara, but at least I remember something)

One cool summer night H and C who were roommates were having a little disagreement, H found the room to stuffy and hot while C thought it was just fine and if anything maybe even a bit cool, so after lying in bed for a few minutes with the lights out H figuring C was already sleeping felt his way along the room until he made his way to the window and opened it to let in some cool air and went to bed, finally comfortable enough to sleep.

A few minutes later C woke up only to find the room freezing cold and so he stumbles his way around the room and finds the window in the dark, slams it shut and goes back to bed, H of course feels the heat a few minutes later and stumbles back to the window to open it only this time H is up and they start fighting about whether the window should be open or closed, Hot or Cold.

After a few minutes of heated arguing, it started to turn physical, and soon enough objects were flying around the room, with each one feeling around blindly in the dark and finding shoes or whatever else was lying around to throw at each other, when suddenly there was a loud CRASH! You idiot yelled C, you broke the window! Now it’s going to be freezing cold, and so with no other option he stumbles back into his bed and buried himself in his blanket while H lied back down in his bed enjoying the cool breeze from the broken window.

In the morning both of them wake up, H feeling well rested from his cool nights sleep and H all grumpy from the cold and both of them turn in the light to find the mess from the broken window, only to find that the window was still closed and actually wasn’t even broke! In the dark they had actually shattered… the mirror. :)