Yinglish at Its best.
(Source unknown)

JEWBILATION n. Pride in finding out that one's favorite celebrity is Jewish.

TORAHFIED n. Inability to remember one's lines (trup) when called to read from the Torah at one's Bar Mitzvah.

SANTA-SHMANTA n. The explanation Jewish children get for why they celebrate Hanukah while the rest of the neighbors celebrate Christmas.

MATZILATION v. 1. Smashing a piece of matzo to bits while trying to butter it 2. An unsuccessful attempt at splitting the affikoman in half.

BUBBEGUM n. Candy one's mother gives to her grandchildren that she never gave to her own children. (The secret nosh drawer in bubbys house)

CHUTZPAPA n. A father who wakes his wife at 4:00a.m. so she can change the baby's diaper.

DEJA NU n. Having the feeling you've seen the same exasperated look on your mother's face but not knowing exactly when.

DISORIYENTA n. 1. When Aunt Sadie gets lost in a department store and strikes up a conversation with everyone she passes 2. A yenta forgetting what she was yenting about.

GOYFER n. A Gentile messenger.

HEBORT vb. To forget all the Hebrew one ever learned immediately after one's Bar Mitzvah.

JEWDO n. A traditional form of self defense based on talking one's way out of a tight spot.

MAMATZAH BALLS n. Matzo balls that are as good as mother used to make.

MEINSTEIN - slang. "My son, the genius"

MISHPOCHAMARKS n. The assorted lipstick and make-up stains found on one's face and collar after kissing all one's aunts and cousins at a
reception.

RE-SHTETLEMENT n. Moving from Brooklyn to Miami and finding all your old neighbors live in the same condo as you.

ROSH HASHANA-NA-NA n. A rock 'n roll band from Brooklyn.

YIDENTIFY v. 1. To be able to determine ethnic origins of celebrities even though their names might be St. John, Curtis, Davis, or Taylor 2. The ability to identify different types of chasidim by their clothing (Hats, Bekishes, etc.)

MINYASTICS n. Going to incredible lengths and troubles to find a tenth person to complete a minyan.

FEELAWFUL n. Indigestion from eating Israeli street food.

DIS-KVELLIFIED vb. To drop out of law school, medical school or business as seen through the eyes of parents, grandparents, and Uncle Sid.

IMPASTA n. A Jew who starts eating leavened foods before the end of Passover.

KINDERSCHLEP v. To transport other kids in your car besides yours.

SCHMUCKLUCK n. Finding out one's wife became pregnant after one had a vasectomy.

SHOFARSOGUT n. Ending the first day of rosh hashana, beginning the second, Shofar –so-gut 2.The relief you feel when after many attempts the shofar is finally blown at the end of Yom Kippur.

TRAYFFIC ACCIDENT n. An appetizer one finds out has pork in it after one has eaten it.