Toward the end of the weekly Torah sermon, the Rabbi asked, "How many of you have been moichel your enemies?"

80% held up their hands.

A week later the Rabbi repeated his question. All responded affirmative this time, except for Mr. Chaim Rosenberg, who was one of the elders from the community.

"Mr. Rosenberg, It's good to see you here today. Now with all due respect, why are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"

"I don't have any," he replied gruffly.

"Mr. Rosenberg, that is very unusual. How old are you?"

"Ninety-eight," he replied. The congregation stood up and clapped their hands.

"Oh, Mr. Rosenberg, would you please come up in front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?"

Mr. Rosenberg tottered down the aisle, stopped in front of the pulpit, turned around, faced the congregation, and said simply, "I outlived all those schmucks!"

Larry says:

Every time I buy a new suit I make sure it at least a size or two to large, that way whenever people see me they exclaim "wow Larry, you look like you've lost weight recently!"

Monday morning at work and i'm in a surprisingly good mood, must be Adar :)

Mishenichnas Adar Marbim Bi...

""Hangover" is just another name for "Friday" or "Tuesday" for you. Ur like the hangover pro..." lolololol!