An 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting. When she went before the judge he asked her, "What did you steal?"

She replied: a can of peaches.

The judge asked her why she had stolen them and she replied that she was hungry.

The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied 6.

The judge then said, "I will give you 6 days in jail."

Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment the woman's husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something.

He said, "What is it?"

The husband said "She also stole a can of peas!"

Wishing y’all a happy, glad, (euphoric oops no scratch that one ;) content, blessed, blissful, jolly, joyous, successful, prosperous, triumphant, fruitful, wondrous, marvelous, fantastic, glorious, sensational, stupendous, brilliant, smashing, galluptious, extraordinary, phenomenal, astonishing, fabulous, awesome, awe-inspiring, fortuitous, auspicious, favorable, prosperous, providential, serendipitous, terrific, fulfilling, perfect, kosher… YEAR!

Umm Yah, ksiva vachasima tova to all of you, may g-d bless you all with whatever you may NEED, and whatever you may WANT. Only joy, peace and happiness.. in short hope y’all have a phenomenal year!

CS.

......................

Like a newborn child in a delivery room in a doctor’s arms, I pray to you hashem…

Before you I am nothing, soiled and stained, tiny and naked, entirely exposed.

I have fate and belief in you hashem. Please hold me tightly and dear in your hands. Please don’t forsake me, please look after me. Shield and protect me so that I may be…


All that I ask hashem is that you give me a chance, to grow and to change, to learn and to mature in this coming year… For I am your son and I wont let you down.

....

Anon ...But listen buster
the aibershter does give you the chance ......!!!!
me: I know

;)

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RH Humor

Looking Back

Been kinda busy lately.

Funny how every time I’m in the mood of bloggin’ I can’t seem to find anything to blog about, and then every time something way bloggable occurs I’m either not in the mood or haven’t got the time for it… Sheesh & Shoysh.

Tonight I met a broken heart
Outside smiling, inside crying
No tears, no sorrow to share
Only noticeable to those who were aware

Worlds are turned inside out
Hearts are shattered, left with doubt
Without a cry life goes on
Only sorrow, no tomorrow

Broken hearted, soul torn apart
A delicate flame, barely a spark
Waiting for something, someone to care
Lounging for comfort, a heart to repair


But I feel your pain, and I feel your sorrow
And I pray with you for a better tomorrow
When all hearts will mend, and all lives will shine
When all (our) pain and troubles will be left behind

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Quick definitions (nudnik)

# noun: (Yiddish) someone who is a boring pest

:P

Gut Voch.