Monday, February 27, 2006

Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody

This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.
There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it.
Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.
Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job.
Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it.
It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.

"The lazier a man is, the more he plans to do tomorrow"

I'm not lazy, just tired.

Meat 'n Milk & Chicken Wings













Recently took my SMICHA (rabbinical studies) to a whole new level, basically instead of just one hour a day I'm doing 2 or 3 hours, feels like I'm in yeshiva again only this time with a shorter attention span. Not that learning about milk and meat isn't interesting... Not that... It isn't... Interesting?

Things To know...

I always thought that once I started learning smicha (basar B'chalav) I would start eating kosher, but after learning the laws I came to realize that I have been eating kosher all along. (j/k for those who don't know me)

After learning the Laws of Kosher (basar B'chalav/milk and meat) you come to realize that what ever you though was forbidden and non-kosher is actually permitted. After learning the laws of shabbos however, you come to realize that whatever you thought was permitted is actually prohibited.

If you were to go into burger king and eat a cheese burger, it will not be a transgression of milk and meat together, since it is already transgressing the sin of eating non-kosher meat(niveilah) the sin of milk & meat is only if both are kosher.

Off to study now, later y'all.

TG
















Funky pic by TG, rock on dude! Now if only we can get him to update his freakin blog.

In other blog news "mazal tov" to Spatter for his first blog update since like FOREVER! Happy blogging.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

weather man












Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative

Sometimes I wish that I was the weather, you'd bring me up in conversation forever. And when it rained, I'd be the talk of the day.

Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while.

REVISION: Who's happier? (response to previous post)

Thanks YH.
Here it is. The person who wrote back the responses is a reconstructionist liberal Jew. Go figure

Dear ...
My responses!
REASONS WHY WOMEN ARE HAPPIER
1. My last name MAY stay put.
2. The living room is all mine.
3. I can be senator.
4. NO COMMENT on weddings! Are the wedding plans taking care of themselves without you!
5. I WILL wear a white t-shirt to a water park IF I WANT TO.
6. I can wear no shirt (but my bikini, though) to a water park.
7. My car mechanics give me free tires (sometimes).
8. NO COMMENT on the urinals and restrooms. Ladies don't do that.
9. I don't have to stop and think which way to turn a nut. How sexist!
10. Same work, plus extra perks because I am so cute.
11. Wrinkles add character.
12. Wedding dress can be zip if I want to wear my WATER PARK T-SHIRT.
13. I love it when people stare at my chest when I talk to them. They're beautiful and they're REAL.
14. Some guys like it when a girl burps but LADIES DON'T DO THAT.
15. To hell with new shoes.
16. Changing moods is good, especially when it gets you presents.
17. During my phone conversations 3 girlfriends solve my problems for me so I can spend my free time studying harder on homework.
18. I know stuff about tanks and TANK TOPS.
19. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
20. I can open all my own jars (just need a butter knife and hot water).
21. I get extra hugs for the slightest act of thoughtfulness since no one is afraid to hug me.
22. If someone forgets to invite me, everyone else I know laughs at them.
23. My underwear is $1.00 a pair.
24. Five pairs of shoes: three usually, two for decoration.
25. Straps showing are considered fashionable in some circles.
26. I iron out the wrinkles in my clothes before I come to school so I can't see them either.
27. Everything on my face stays its original color because I don't use makeup.
28. Changing hairstyles usually elicits compliments.
29. I have to shave NOTHING if I don't feel like it and guys still look.
30. I play with toys all my life. Guess what they are. No, don't be sick. Pen and paper.
31. My belly is in proportion to my hips so I don't need to hide anything.
32. One wallet - and one pair of shoes - usually the same color. But who cares when my purse matches my shoes?
33. I wear shorts no matter how my legs look.
34. I can "do" my nails with a nail clipper - a Swiss Army knife is for fixing the car.
35. Mustaches are for men unless you are a drag "king" so I won't go there.
36. Jews don't do Christmas shopping, Hallelujah. From stares and envy to hugs and kisses, NO WONDER WOMEN ARE HAPPIER.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Men and Women











"Like a golden ring in the snout of a pig, so is a beautiful woman who has lost her sense of good will" (proverbs)

Thanks YH for sending over this last part, looking forward to the wedding.

From YH
Now that I am engaged I have really come to see the truth in this

Subject: Men Are Happier

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache..
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.

Lets make a deal...















If only life was that simple

“We have to learn to be our own best friends because we fall to easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies"

“Love is a trap. When it appears, we see only its light, not its shadows"

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

L'Chaim!



Official Canadian Beer Study

Yesterday, scientists for Health Canada suggested that, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer, men should take a look at their beer consumption.

The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the theory, 100 men were given 6 pints of beer within a one-hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologise when wrong.

No further testing is planned.

Monday, February 13, 2006

Then & Now

LAST YEAR (Body-Surfing, Sandy beach, Honolulu.












THIS YEAR (Blizzard '06 NY)













Winter is a time when people try to keep the their home just as warm as it was in the summer, when they complained about the heat.


Yesterday is history,Tomorrow is a mystery,Today is a gift,That is why they call it "The Present".

And on the flip side...

You better think about the future, for it's where you will spend the rest of your life.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Blind Farmer













You can fool all of the people some of the time
You can fool some of the people all of the time
But you can't fool all of the people all of the time.
Abraham Lincoln, 1864

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Sagely advice













I happened to come across a great cartoon image site called www.glasbergen.com
Needless to say I got hooked and went through most of the pics, posting a few for those who don't have time to check it out. Enjoy :)

Its a new world out there

To all fellow smokers

On diets...

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Irony of Modernization

Evolution