Raod Trip Pics

My home away from home, Camping, Vermont.

Funny that I was eating more on the road trip then I usually eat at home.

G and his diet coke, this ones for you dude. I still cant stand that suff, but when you hike up a mountain and thats it you got...

Friends. This ones my favorite pic, just a bit sorry that I was taking the picture and didn't get to be in it.

Hiking the appalachian trail

One of the many awesome views, hiking the beehive in Acadia National Park

Sunset in Cape Cod, Massachusetts

Waiting for sunrise somewhere in White Mountains National Forest , New Hapshire

The funniest pic of the road trip, Sign on a public trash can in Maine at one of the rest areas, can anyone think of a good caption?

Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match, find me a find, catch me a catch...

I one heard this one "true love isn’t when two people alike get together, rather its when two opposite people learn to live with each other" now I don’t know about that, personally I’d rather marry someone who is very much like me.

Shadchan= someone who gets paid to be a yente!

A shaddchan corners a yeshiva bochur and says, "Do I have a girl for you!".

"Not interested", replies the bochur.

"But she's beautiful!” says the shaddchan

"Yeah?" says the bochur.

"Yes. And she's very rich too."

"Really?"

"And she has great yichus (ancestry)! From a very fine family."

"Sounds great." says the bochur. "But why would a girl like that want to marry me? She'd have to be crazy."

Replies the shaddchan "Well, you can't have everything!"

Jewish Personal Ads

Jewish Princess, 28, seeks successful businessman of any major Jewish denomination: hundreds, fifties, twenties. POB 27.

Single, attractive, successful, self-absorbed woman, 34, seeks to save money by spending yours. POB 29.

Yeshiva bochur, Torah scholar, long beard, payos. Seeks same in woman. POB 43.

Israeli woman, 28, works behind falafel counter in pizza shop, looking for Jewish man with sense of humus. POB 789.

Worried about in-law meddling? I'm an orphan! Write. POB 74.

Are you the girl I spoke with at the kiddush after shul last week? You excused yourself to get more horseradish for your gefilte fish, but you never returned. How can I contact you again? (I was the one with the cholent stain on my tie). POB 766.

Israeli professor, 41, with 18 years of teaching in my behind. Looking for born American woman who good speaks English. POB 99

Jewish male, 34, very successful, smart, independent, self-made. Looking for girl whose father will employ me. POB 53.

Mother’s love
Benny is almost 32 years old. All his friends are now married but Benny just dates and dates. Finally his friend asks him, "What's the matter, Benny? Are you looking for the perfect woman? Are you really that fussy? Surely you can find someone who suits you?"
"No I just can’t," Benny replies. "I meet many nice girls, but as soon as I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them. So I keep on looking!"
"Listen," his friend suggests, "why don't you find a girl who's just like your mother?"
Many weeks go by and again Benny and his friend get together.
"So, have you found the perfect girl yet? One that's just like your mother?"
Benny shrugs his shoulders, "Yes, I found one just like mum. Mum loved her right from the start and they have become good friends."
"So, do I owe you a Mazel Tov? Are you and this girl engaged yet?"
"I'm afraid not. My father can't stand her!"

In conclusion, my idea for all single folks is that all people who are interested in getting married should be able to walk down the street with copies of their shiddach resumes in their pockets and whenever they pass someone who they are attracted too, they should be able to walk up and introduce themselves, pass over a résumé and see what happens, and no it has nothing to do with JUST physical attraction!

Sorry, the though of "blind dating" just freaks me out, also think about it, when people ask you about others for shidduchim how truthfull are you, I just think when you see a person on the street... You know?

To my dear bro, best of luck in school today, may your school year be quick and painless, and may your day dreams be sweet and joyous and go on uninterrupted until the end of class.

Here are just a few of my favorite school memories.

Student: “That’s its rabbi! I’ve had enough of this, I’m sick and tired of school, I am heading up to the roof right now and I’m going to jump!
Rabbi: (jokingly) “No! NO! Wait! Don’t jump! At least not from this building, trust me they have terrible insurance coverage, if you want, maybe go jump off another building…

This one is from a rabbi who couldn’t stand it when students would sleep during his shiur, he was always threatening us with 10 dollar fines if caught sleeping in class, now any buchor who is in yeshiva long enough learns the trick of sleeping upright with your hands covering your eyes so your teacher cant tell if you sleeping or not, now this rabbi really had something against me, and me being a professional sleeper just got him more upset as he was never able to bust me, I’ll always remember the one day I was dozing off with my hands on my forehead covering my eyes when I heard the teacher yell to me “Mr. *****! Next time I even THINK you’re sleeping, it will be a 10 dollar knas!

How about cheating on tests? I’ll never forget my fifth grade teacher and his multiple choice tests, basically he would hand out a stack of test papers and each student would take one and then pass the rest to the student behind him until everyone had a test paper and we would then send the remaining test papers back to the front, after that that we would have around 30 minutes to take this multiple choice by checking the correct anwers/numbers and then bring our tests back to out teacher, and once all the test were given in he would make a whole show by reading us which numbers were the correct answers, and then normally he would put all the tests away in his desk to mark later and we would all be leave the class for lunch break.
My cheating method was quite simple back then, instead of taking one test paper I would secretly take two, and somehow sneak the second one into my desk, I would then proceed fill in the answers to the test on the paper in front of me (which wasn’t always that great as I never was a big fan of studying) and hand in the first test paper with whatever answers I knew and wait for everyone to hand in their tests as well for then the teacher would read of the answers while I would secretly take a pen and write the correct answers (unlike when you cheat off a friend where your never guaranteed that the answers are right) on a small paper, then once everyone left the room for lunch I would sneak back into the classroom and take out my second test paper and fill out all the correct answers and break into the teachers desk, find all the test papers and switch my old failing test paper with the new modified one.
Listen I might not have known all my stuff back then, but I sure felt like a genius… Hey not that I’m so proud of cheating but can anyone beat that?

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"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up" said the sarcastic teacher.
After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet.
"Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the teacher with a sneer.
"Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."

The teacher is droning away in the classroom when he notices a student sleeping way up in the back row. The teacher shouts to the sleeping student's neighbor, "Hey wake that student up!" The neighbor yells back, "You put him to sleep, you wake him up!"

The child comes home from his first day at school.
Mother asks, "What did you learn today?"
The kid replies, "Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow."

Hey Y'all I'm back :) The road trip was awesome, I had a really chilled time.
I tried posting some RT pics but I'm having some problems with em so I'll leave that for another time.

Male/Female Observations:

Women love to talk on the phone. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.

Men’s phone conversations are over in 30 second flat.

A woman will dress up to go shopping, walk around the block, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, or get the mail.

A man will dress up for special occasions, such as HIS wedding, award ceremonies, oh and of course, HIS funeral.

Women will drive miles out of their way to avoid the possibility of getting lost using a shortcut.

Men NEVER get lost, they are simply trying to figure out new shortcuts.

Women do NOT want an honest answer to the question, 'How do I look?'

Notice to Men: There is no right answer to that question…

'Oh, nothing,' has an entirely different meaning in woman-language than it does in man-language.

If it is not Valentines day and you see a man in a flower shop, you can probably start up a conversation by asking, 'What did you do?'

Women can get out of speeding tickets by pouting. This will get men arrested.

Women will spend hours dressing up to go out, and then they'll go out and spend more time checking out other women. Men can never catch women checking out other men; women will always catch men checking out other women.

The most embarrassing thing for women is to find another woman wearing the same dress at a formal party. You don't hear men say, 'Oh-my GOD, there's another man wearing a black tux, get me outta here!'

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Theory regarding marriage

MAJORITY of girls during their single life will only have one (or two, or in some special cases maybe even three) best friends, best friends meaning that those are the friends they hang out and associate with, and other girls are just people they know, but have nothing really to do with them, I’m pretty sure if my sisters best friends (yes she has two of them) were out of town she would be bored out of her mind.

Majority of guys however have many, many friends. Sure there are cases where we have friends who are closer then others and who we hang out with more often, but the thing of having a BEST FRIEND doesn’t really apply in the male world. Guys have no problems hanging out with another guy or another crowd every other day, if my good friends are out of town I have no problem finding something to do with OTHER friends.

(Girls are a lot more dependent then guys are, in general and particularly with friends, guys are so much more independent.)

Now the point I’m getting to is what happens when a guy and girl get MARRIED.

A girls marries a guy with the assumption that she now has a new BEST FRIEND, of course I don’t mean it literally as in simply a best friend, of course its so much more then that, but the point is the girl is content just having her husband, and only having her husband around, all she wants and needs is that one person to be there for her, to hang out with, and to depend on. (Sorry but I’m still not clear on what happens to the girls best friend one she gets married… I can’t imagine they are half as close as before, or maybe they are?)

A guy on the other hand marries a girl and acquires a best friend as well (again of course I don’t mean it literally as it is obviously so much more then that!) but the point is although the guy is married and now has someone to be with forever, the rest of his friends are still there and still REMAIN good friends, even after marriage guys still have their friends and enjoy just hanging out with them.

Bottom line is that while the girl might be content being solely with her husband all day and spending all her time with him, and although guys love their wives dearly and don’t mind the least bit being with them (Especially if she is doing your laundry and cooking your dinner) guys however still want to hang out with other friends as well.

I’m writing this piece tfor all my married friends who might have nagging wives and have to deal with mind games and deal-making to get a night out with the boys (am I the only one who find listening to such conversations amusing?)

Husband: Honey my friends are in town, do you mind if I go out with them for a bit
Wife: Well I’m not really feeling that great but if you really want to go then I guess you can...
Husband: Oh come on dear, you know I would rather be with you, but I don’t get to hang out with my friends that often and I really want to go out for a bit I promise I wont be out to late.
Wife: Ok, Ok fine, if you really want to go then go, but try to make it home quick please.
Husband: No problem, we are just going over to *****’S house and I should be back around one.
Wife: Do you think maybe you can be back by 12?
Husbad: Sure honey.
Wife: Fine so I’ll call you around a quarter to 12…
Wife calls husbad by 11:30 to see if he is ready to come home yet.

HOWEVER THE OTHER WAY AROUND

Wife: Sweetie I’m going out with ****** and I might be back late…
Husbad: Ok, bye, see you later, call me when you get a chance.

Vacation time

ROAD TRIP!

Going on a road-trip to maine, see y’all in a week.

I most probably will be taking my laptop along, but I highly doubt they have wi-fi in campsites in middle of nowhere, but hey if I get a chance I’ll be sure to post.

Was thinking that you can probably easily recognize a blogger at the summers end by the color of his skin, no tan = addicted, so to all you pale skinned blog addicts out there, the bright desk light doesn’t substitute for sun, so go outside and get some color before you turn into a ghost ;)

Bloggers worst vacation fear: “What?! How do you expect me to take a vacation? And let down all my loyal readers? Besides what if I get back and all my regulars are gone, do you have any idea what this is going to do to my hit count? Ahhhhhhh!

Sleeping bag - Check. Bathing suit - Check... G-d I love being a guy! Going on a weeks vacation and all I need to take along is one BACKPACK of clothing! (unlike my sister whom recently left on her road trip and she must have taken 2 suitcases! Ok so I am slightly exaggerating... But only slighly.)

Hasta luego!

"I once wanted to become an atheist but I gave up . . . they have no holidays."

A young woman teacher with explains to her class of children that she is an atheist. She asks her class if they are atheists too.
Not really knowing what atheism is but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks. There is, however, one exception. A Jewish girl named Sara has not gone along with the crowd.
The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.
"Because I'm not an atheist."
"Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?"
"I'm Jewish."
The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Sara why she is Jewish.
"Well, I was brought up knowing and loving God. My Mom is Jewish, and my Dad is Jewish, so I am Jewish."
The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your Mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?" A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Sara, "I'd be an atheist."

"Atheism: A Non-Prophet organization"



On New York's Upper West Side lived an assimilated Jew who was a militant atheist. But he sent his son to Trinity School because, despite its denominational roots, it’s a great school and completely secular. After a month, the boy comes home and says casually, “By the way Dad, do you know what ‘Trinity’ means? It means the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost.”

The father can barely control his rage. He seizes his son by the shoulders and declares, “Danny, I’m going to tell you something now and I want you never to forget it. There is only one God. AND we don’t believe in Him!”

Prof: Tell me, son. Do you believe in G-d?
Student: Yes, professor, I do.
Prof: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Have you ever seen G-d?
Student: No, sir.
Prof: Tell us if you have ever heard your G-d?
Student: No, sir.
Prof: Have you ever felt your G-d, tasted your G-d, smelt your G-d? Have you ever even had any sensory perception of God for that matter?
Student: No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.
Prof: Yet you still believe in Him?
Student: Yes.
Prof: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your G-d doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student: Nothing. I only have my faith.
Prof: Yes, Faith. And that is the problem science has.
Student: Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain?
(The class breaks out into laughter.)
Student: Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? ....No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

Me: You know it must be hard for females to be atheists, I mean imagine a girl not being able to exclaim "Oh my G-d" a thousand times a day!
Female: Oh my G-d, that is like so not true!